Reflections

I think I know why Chicago leaves me unsettled. It’s because it isn’t a natural fit for my passions in life, especially my passion for nature… I often feel trapped here. Trapped by the noise, by the buildings, by the number of people. I need to be free. I need trees. I need a challenging mountain to climb. I need an animal to watch. To be in a field of wildflowers with a cool mountain stream is inhabiting the most beautiful of cathedrals…

However,it is here, in this city, that I can truly assess my impact on the world. It would have been hard to divert my attention from the mountains to assess how my consumerism or my sometimes cool indifference to racial issues that contribute to the problems and disparities in the world... In my comfortable, white, economically privileged life in Colorado, I wasn't questioning my impact on the natural earth or the poor or victims of injustice nearly as much as I am now…

So, I resign myself to the lessons this city is teaching me. It doesn't mean I miss the beauty and peace the Rocky Mountains afford any less, but I can see God's handprint in a different way.

He is constantly asking me to consider, "How can you live out your faith living on a daily basis?" I believe it should be in my food choices, my purchases, the way I spend my time. If I truly believe what I say I believe, I can not live without considering my actions on the world.

It is a good summer so far. I know where I have come from and where I want to go. (The joy of being 30!) I want to teach, to advocate, to learn. I would love to combine my passions for the wilderness and medicine at some point.

Contentment is truly a choice on most levels, it's not circumstancial, like what state you live in. When you are a believer, you can trust that God has you where He wants you, when He wants you there. And maybe, when you're ready, he'll take you back to the mountains.

Heidi